The Town

Literally why are you stealing from me?

Dec 04, 2022

This may get cut off in your email so the demand this week is for you to obviously open in your browser and then tell me who you think Banksy is.

EYE AMETH NOT A THIEF.

One time, in high school, I let this one girl, L, talk me into stealing from Nordstroms (or maybe it was Saks…I don’t remember) and it was terrifying.

I ended up stealing a disgustingly ugly charm braclet that was silver and red and had a bunch of crosses and hearts on it. I remember my heart beating so fast as we left the store and made our way into the mall. I just KNEW that I was about to get that tap on my shoulder, and have to explain to my parents that I was in suburban michigan mall jail ‘cos I stole a $32 braclet meant for a soccer mum who wanted to be edgy.

This exit felt about a million miles away when I decided to play Klepto Kelly

We didn’t get caught but I never wore the bracelet. I felt SO BAD. Like, yes I now know that I wouldn’t have been persecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and from working in retail understand what shrinkage is—but still.

All that to say….SOMEONE STOLE FROM ME THIS WEEK. No one broke into my humble abode and swiped all my blush pillows and makeup palettes, but they stole my writing and high-key…it really fucking sucked.

The film that came to mind was The Town, it’s from 2010 and I just saw it this year. In it Blake “Serena Van der Woodsen” Lively plays a hot hoodrat with gold hoops and cute bras, and Ben Affleck-Lopez is a criminal with a good heart and an accent that I care a lot about. I saw it because it’s a movie my partner loves and we watched it together! It’s about a town that is known for bank robberies and all-around thievery, and Ben is someone who takes part in it all but is dumb smart about it. He eventually robs one and it goes left. He falls in love with the hostage and has to make some decisions after—we love a heist movie wrapped in a romance.

This film isn’t so much about stealing and feeling bad for it, more like, stealing and being pissed you got caught. The writer who stole from me was kinda mad she got caught too ‘cos after I tweeted out that she had stolen a piece from me—a LISTICLE OF ALL PIECES—she went private on all her socials and blocked folks who had a connection to me.

Swap Meet Mannequin @HiShelli

Lol if you’re going to steal my very niche ass article do a better job at switching up the copy. I remember when Broadly stole my shit too so makes sense for their big brother VICE to do the same.

Swap Meet Mannequin @HiShelli

High key WILD of you to tweet this after you stole an article i published at an indie publication, barely switched the copy, & probably got paid 3x more for it than i did due to where it got published and the money they have. https://t.co/tTegAc43K2

I’ve had to do something like this twice this year—@ a publication or a writer that had done me dirty—and I don’t dig doing it but sometimes it needs to be done. I didn’t do it to piss her off or anything, but more to teach her a lesson of sorts? I’ve had many a piece stolen and in this game, there isn’t a whole hell of a lot I can do about it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do ANYTHING about it.

If she felt the need to go private ‘cos she was ashamed that others found out what she did—including the POC publication she works for as an editor finding out she was stealing content for her freelance work from a Black queer writer/editor at an indie publication—then so be it, but like Monique Heart said—facts are facts America.

She would have QT’d me and had my back for sure…the nails tell me that I’m correct about that.

I hate when artists steal from other artists, it makes me sad, mad, and a bunch of other rhyming three-letter words that are emotion-based that I can’t think of right now. Yes, it was a small listicle that was meant to both praise an artist (Aubrey Plaza) and make people laugh (Dykes that like Aubrey Plaza), but it doesn’t matter if it was a small list or a big feature—it was mine and they took it from me and got more credit and money for it (double homicide).

The Town ends in a happily ever after—TEW ME—and my story does too. I had a conversation with the writer, she didn’t admit to stealing even though I had whole-ass proof (click on the tweet thread above to see it), and I felt good about it.

I learned my lesson to not steal from anyone when I strolled out of that department store with guilt burning a hole in my cheap purse and in my heart, and I hope this writer learned theirs after stealing from me. And if not, may the writer gods put them in a constant state of writer’s block until they learn their lesson.

That feels mean, maybe like, have their card get declined at Trader Joe’s on a Sunday afternoon. Yeah—that feels like an even trade for a bit of plagiarism.

As always you can find this info on my Letterboxd buuuuutttt still.

What I Watched

Bad Girls Club Season 15 in its entirety in one day.
Bad Girls Club Season 12 — REDD is a PREDATOOORRRRRRRR!!!
Fleishman is in Trouble — this show is…a lot BUT I enjoy it question mark.
Netflix popped me the info on That ‘90s Show that I have been waiting for (screeners coming soon!) and yes I was a fan of That ‘70s Show, no I was not surprised that That ‘80s Show failed (even though the casting was wonderful!) but I am excited for this one!
Love Actually special W/ Diane Sawyer. I’m working on a piece about the film and this was so precious to watch
They/Them
Queer For Fear
Run, Sweetheart, Run
Aubrey Plaza replying to her fans:
The People We Hate At The Wedding — this movie is cute, there is a scene in a Taco Bell, and Allison Janney delivered this brilliant line:
- “I’m sorry I showed you a glimpse of what life is like when you treat people well.”
This incredible poem:

What I Re-watched

Abbott Elementary, Monarch, Welcome to Flatch

What I Listened To

My Spotify wrapped playlist ‘cos it’s great but also—how did “Twist of Fate” by Olivia Newton-John not make my top 5! Remember when I was listening to it about 5-8 times a day.