MAY DECEMBER — A Film Where Unhinged Straight Women Look In The Mirror

Okay but lol it was very good!

Now that MAY DECEMBER is out for all to see and you’ve had the weekend to sit with it, please tell me—Is Todd Haynes my mortal director enemy?

¹Does he hate me?

What did I do to him?

Are you high right now? Do You ever get nervous? (had to lol)

OMINOUS

I used to think that Yorgos was the director who had it out for me, but then here comes the Poor Things trailer giving me everything I needed including a Frankenstein-coded Emma Stone. So we are on much better terms now.

That leads me to ²MAY DECEMBER. Starring Natalie Portman, ³who dabbled in dykin’ in Black Swan, and Julianne Moore, who has played queer in Psycho, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, The Kids are Alright, and Freeheld and queer adjacent in Chloe and The Hours.

It’s directed by ⁴Todd Haynes, a director who is beloved in queer film circles. He’s gay and films like Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story and Far From Heaven are considered gold in queer cinema…he also directed Carol.

MAY DECEMBER is about an actress, Elizabeth, who is ready to get her Daniel Day-Lewis on (Portman) by spending time with the subject of her upcoming film, Gracie (Moore). Gracie was in the tabloids 20 years ago (when she was 36) for having sex with Joe—a 13-year-old boy who was friends with her son—and developing an ongoing “relationship” with him. She got pregnant several times, went to prison, and now she and Joe (played by Charles Melton) are married and living a slow life in Georgia.

It’s loosely based on the true story of Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. If you don’t know the story you can watch the film ⁵All American Girl: Mary Kay Letourneau for free on Youtube. The true story is sad, really icky, and could be triggering to some of you so tread lightly on that film and with MAY DECEMBER.

So Miss Portman follows Mama Moore around for a while, asking her questions, getting to know her gestures, and trying to learn more of their story. She learns more about her and Joe’s relationship, seeing that it’s not as peachy keen as they have presented, and shows just how close they are to unraveling after all these years and all this pain.

The main thing to chat about is Gracie and Elizabeth’s relationship. In the trailer and imagery a lot of folks, especially dykes/adjacent, thought hey…this is about to get real scissory. The coverage in queer media led them to believe there were going to be elements of the story that was about a queer relationship between the two of them.

That does not happen.

This is not a queer film in the sense that queerness runs through it—with the exception of one kinda side character for half a conversation—but it’s queer in the sense that Todd Haynes is gay and directed it.

The film and story itself though, to me, is not in any way shape, or form queer. You can pull out some elements and try to make it queer-coded—the looks they exchange and the main scene of them in the mirror—but it wouldn’t be accurate. It would be lesbian cinema wishful thinking.

Every internet dyke I know (and a lot of the gays) thought that this movie was going to have a queer woman element—you can’t all have gotten to that same conclusion on your own. There were specific marketed elements that led you there.

I am constantly wary of films that are marketed towards the queer community especially anyone who is dyking or dyke adjacent. It’s very fair for me to feel that because well, look at the history. A few recent times where a film was marketed towards us but then erased us or showed zero to light queerness:

The United States vs Billie Holiday — Billie Holiday was queer. There is mad “proof” out there to back it up and in the press run for the Lee Daniels film they talked about it, there is even a moment in the trailer (2:03) that shows a kiss between Billie and Tallulah Bankhead (they were lovers IRL and Tallulah is played by Natasha Lyonne) but the kiss is not in the film. They KNEW what they were doing and KNEW dykes would watch for that…but they got our streams and we got nothing (except Audra killing the role but THAT’S NOT THE POINT.)

Eileen — Another movie that promised queerness and not just in a coded way. This movie was at Newfest for fucks sake, the gayest film festival around, and it’s truly not queer. I know some folks will argue that there are moments that are, but like I said before, they can quickly and obviously be explained away as not.

You see two women, the films are marketed to a queer audience, and instead of denying dykin’ they very softly lean into it (so that later they can say “We never said that!!”) and you get your hopes up—I get what got you there. Again, the community is so starved for representation that you take a string of sapphic and hold on for dear life…every director and marketing team knows that too so don’t feel like you’re insane.

MAY DECEMBER is very fucking good though. It moves at a remarkable pace, and to me, Portman kills it as the actress who is willing to go a little too far in her research. Melton also gives a star performance and truly makes you feel for him. Throughout the whole movie, even in interactions with his children and wife, he reads as a little boy forcing himself to play grown-up and it is stunning.

So no, MAY DECEMBER, isn’t a queer dyke/dyke adjacent film, but it is still very worth the watch. It’s hard not to have wishful thinking when you want to see yourself and your identity reflected in the media you consume. This time was a no go, but who knows, maybe the next movie that has two starlets softly touching in dim lighting will actually be queer, until then, go watch The Handmaiden to get your fix.

1. I’m literally being dramatic I know he doesn’t know me lol

2. The term May December is poetry for age gap btw

3. You should read this linked article. It came out after Natalie and Taika made claims that Thor: Love and Thunder was “so gay” but a bunch of queer people went to see it and determined THAT WAS A LIE!

4. May December is the 5th time Haynes and Moore have worked together. Safe, Far From Heaven, I’m Not There, and Wonderstruck are the others.

5. Rena Owen has ALWAYS been that bitch.