My Favorite Fictional Caucasians Are Back in Bridgerton!
ALL HAIL REDHEADS IN GREEN DRESSES!
Slight spoilers of Bridgerton Season 1 & 2 ahead dearest reader!
First of all bitch, Penelope Featherington has always been a babe. I get it, I know we’re all supposed to be on this whole vibe of this is the season that the wallflower finally blooms and blah, blah, blah but Pen has ALWAYS been that bitch, and to be extra honest—The Featherington family is the flyest dressed family in the ton AND the most interesting.
BUT I digest digress and shall play along in the name of the TRAILER RELEASE for season 3!
All eyes are on Penelope (the INCOMPARABLE Nicola Coughlan) in season 3. Last season was rough for Pen, her sister got snatched up (well technically both of them did), her bestie Eloise (Claudia Jessie) found out she was Lady Whistledown, AND she overheard her longtime crush—Colin “always trying to find himself" Bridgerton (Luke Newton)—making fun of her and saying he would NEVER court her.
So this season, Penelope decides that she is done being around her mean-ass mama and sisters, done feeling sorry for herself, and done being single. She wants to take a husband (help I’m sorry but I love how that sounds) who will let her be ALL the versions of herself and appreciate her for the incredible, witty, smart babe who is crazy with the quill.
Colin comes back from another trip somewhere, finds out that Penelope overheard him, and puts himself in her debt to make their friendship right. He does this by offering to help her find a husband but while he is helping her—suddenly he starts to see her in a new light.
This all means that Pen also gets a makeover at some point—WHICH I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘COS SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN HOT—and it includes gloves and green dresses. Let me tell you something, I love when white women stay in their lane, and when a nearly translucent booby white woman with red hair puts on a green dress, there is nothing I can do but simply celebrate it and wish her well on her path to destruction.
Basically, it feels like Penelope spent the first part of the summer listening to CTRL and then the second half blasting Heaux Tales, and her conclusion was “Omigosh so many of you aren’t shit and like I’m phenomenal and I must move on and get out of this two-bit town filled with hamsters” AND I CONCUR PEN!
Nicola is an incredible actress. I mostly know here from playing my favorite anxious Irish lesbian on Derry Girls and the dopest 18th-century sex worker in Harlots (Harlots was…SUCH a great show like—NO NOTES) and I am so excited to see her be the focus of this season of Bridgerton.
They have built up her storyline and character over the past two seasons and now it’s time for Penelope—and Nicola—to shine.
And now what you have all been waiting for! Here are just a few of my thoughts based on the trailer for season 3!!
“Am I the drama?” should be on The Bridgerton Family crest
This family is fucking MESSY and we all need to address that. Maybe they get away with it because there are so many of them but MY GOD they are always at the center of the drama every summer! Like, get it together!
More of the Mondrichs?!
I didn’t like how Will Mondrich (Martins Imhangbe) was introduced. Sort of like, in this world where class and color are these constructs that everyone is still learning about breaking down while also pretending they don’t exist is…interesting.
So his introduction as one of the darker-skinned Black characters (outside of Lady Danbury played by Adjoa Andoh) who is dealing with real-life shit who has to beg his homie for help and then be at the mercy of white men just angered me.
So I am interested to know where the story of him and his family will go now that they are more central characters. I just hope they don’t put them through such suffering as they have every Black character on the show.
Will Genevieve Delacroix get a storyline?
Speaking of Black characters being more central, I am so hoping for the modiste Delacroix (Kathryn Drysdale) to get a fuller story. One where she doesn’t serve as a prop in propelling forward the stories of others. Like, she is a Cockney (I think) British woman from the lower class who has used her skills in accents and sewing to become a go-to modiste in well-to-do London. How did she get here? What is her past? Who does she know? TELL ME MORE.
Eloise “Only New Friends” Bridgerton
First JT and Caresha have a fight this week and now Penelope and Eloise are still at odds. Like, I get that she is mad at Pen for not telling her she was Lady Whistledown, but Eloise was not the best friend to Pen in general. She said herself that she rarely listened to her or saw her, and every time she and Pen hung out she was only focused on herself and her issues. So this whole thing of her hanging out with the trash of the ton and being rude to Colin about helping Pen needs to stop.
Colin got a little toned I guess?
He started going to the gym on his travels and got some little muscles. When his brothers called him sturdy I scrumpt because help.
The Scheme-to-Swoon pipeline is alive and well
Bridgertons are such shady schemers. I know that Colin is “helping” Pen find a husband but I hate how this is how they inevitably end up together. I wish she would just blast “No Love” by Summer Walker and SZA every time he talked to her.
Background check on Lord Debling ASAP
I don’t trust him! Who is he? What’s his background? Who is his mama? Why is his IG private? The men who suddenly come into the lives of The Featherington women are usually trash, so I have good reason not to trust him. I also hate that when Debling (Sam Phillips) arrives is probably when Colin sees her as someone he wants…now that someone else actually wants her. Like—Ew sir.
WHERE ART THE DYKES MY LORD?
WHERE ARE THEY SHONDA? What if it’s the modiste? As much as folks want Eloise to be queer, she is not (I wrote about it) she even found a love interest last season who is poor and likes books, so safe to say she’s straight as a brand new quill. But what if it’s the other Bridgerton sister Francesca (Hannah Dodd) who is making her debut this season? She looks like she hates everything about it in the trailer. What if she is so pressed ‘cos she’s like “I want to promenade in pussy mother!” I dunno. But if someone doesn’t get lesbionic on this show I’m going to lose my fucking mind.
Watch the trailer for Bridgerton below! Part One premieres May 16 (right on the edge of Taurus season wrapping up) and Part Two June 13. Only on Netflix.
Extras:
I once wrote about The Queen (Golda Rosheuvel) being queer IRL and ranked her hairstyles but it’s gone now cos I wrote it over on (redacted)
Cheryl Dunye directed an episode last season.
I purchased the books to read ahead of each season coming out. If I start book 3 next week do you think I will finish in time for the release?
When I first got into the craze that is Bridgerton in 2020, I remember watching and being really pissed that Penelope’s weight was being made into a thing for others when it came to her beauty. Her family pointed out her eating too many cakes and sweets, her trips to the modiste were fraught when it came to getting fitted for dresses, and it was just like…lazy ass writing.
So, while I know we are supposed to be very into her glow-up this season as she is the last Featherington daughter on the marriage market, the ugly duckling-to-swan thing just doesn’t fully hit with me because as I said, Pen has always been always been a babe.
My Letterboxd is your new favorite place, but here are some other period piece shows that I love:
Harlots
The Serpent Queen
The Great
Gentleman Jack
The Gilded Age
If You Liked This Edition of Hi Shelli!
Here’s another you might really fuck with…
Extra Bits - Vol. 1
Eloise, a Bridgerton determined to forge her own path, reluctantly makes her debut this season. Perhaps it’s because I am so desperately yearning for queerness amongst the people of the ton, that I attached myself to the nearest character who could be read as such—but it’s far too lazy to label her as queer coded.
Thank you so much for reading Hi Shelli! As always, all reviews are in front of the paywall and if you like what you read I hope you consider becoming a paid subscriber <3
this was a hilarious read. thanks!
This is the only Bridgerton analysis I need/respect. Pen has ALWAYS been that girl 💅🏻