'AM I OK?' Proves You Can Be Queer and Like, Not F*ck Your Friends
'AM I OK?' Proves You Can Be Queer and Like, Not F*ck Your Friends
I promise you can still join the club if you don't
“That’s why we’re best friends Jane, that’s why…because we even wipe the same way!”
Dear lesbians, queers, dykes, and dyke adjacent babes…Did you know that you don’t have to sleep with OR fall in love with your friends?
I’m being so fucking for real.
But, turns out 48 out of 5 lesbians don’t agree with me so I’m often standing on the hill alone.
BUT THERE IS HOPE AND IT COMES IN THE FORM OF A NEW QUEER MOVIE!
Wives and artistic partners Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne, who also worked together on One Mississippi, are the directors behind Am I Ok? A new movie from writer Lauren Pomerantz.
We meet Lucy played by Dakota Johnson, (Fifty Shades of Gray if you have a cat, Bad Times at the El Royale if you have a gerbil) and her best friend Jane played by Sonoya Mizuno (House of the Dragon). They are annoyingly adorable and have the sorta decades-old friendship that I didn’t know still existed.
Everything seems fine in Lucy’s world until Jane tells her she’s moving to London for a promotion. To either celebrate Jane’s news or drown Lucy’s sorrows—maybe both—they go out for drinks and invite Jane’s boyfriend along too. And what do we think will happen next class? Confessions start coming out of course!
Jane reveals she kissed a girl in high school. It sends Lucy into a surprise shock and spiral mode, and she lowkey gets kinda mad. But not like mad, mad—more like, 1“OMG you was out here kissing bitches in the 10th grade but I’m 32 and have been secretly wrestling with how I feel about girls and never told you but even though you didn’t know that I’m still about to take it out on you” typa mad.
Later, Lucy tells Jane that she’s queer. And just like that, we officially launch into the gayness of it all.
Johnson's comedic timing is fucking impeccable, proving that even though she’s a drama babe, comedy is where she thrives. She embodies Lucy—an anxious and self-deprecating artist with just the right amount of irritability to make her (mostly) endearing. And Mizuno completes the pair by perfectly portraying the “opposites attract” style bestie who is eternally cool, very direct, and a little bit selfish.
What sets this movie apart from many queer films is two things. Firstly, Lucy is in her 30s, and movies about queerness and self-discovery rarely focus on anyone over the age of 22.5 years old. Secondly, the film's focus on the friendship between Lucy and Jane never wavers. As Lucy navigates her newfound queerness, the story delves into how this whole journey could affect this dynamic they have taken years to create.
Speaking of friendships and also queerness, I don’t believe that your close queer friend circle should solely be made up of exes and folks that have all slept with each other at some point. I know where it comes from, there was a time when queer folks had to run in very tight circles for safety—and in some places that still rings true. Those people became family, friends, and lovers. It wasn’t so easy to leave a circle when things went left because like, what were you gonna do—go and easily find a new one?
Things have since though, gotten a bit better. You don’t need to fuck your friends to stay close, and you don’t have to turn your ex into a friend to keep your circle numbers up. There are exceptions I’m sure, but mixing friendship, sex, and romantic feelings can be a recipe for disaster, especially if you’re already confused about other things.
You also should maybe not get involved with your co-workers. Like, why would you let the possibility of pussy mess with your bag? That’s—wild. Lucy is willing to risk it all though because she is attracted to her co-worker Britt Britt played by Kiersey Clemons. Bad Vibes Britt is going through a similar queer journey—but in a less serious way it seems—and the movie starts building up to a will they/won’t they between the two. I won’t spoil it but after you watch I NEED to know how everyone feels about what goes down.
There is one particular scene that really stood out for me. During a hike, Lucy is giving every excuse under the sun to not date. Jane is supportive of her queer journey and pauses to ask the same question I’ve been asking queer folks, especially queer women, forever—”Why don’t you think you have to date like everyone else? No one’s gonna ring on your doorbell one day looking for a wishy-washy lesbian who might wanna try some stuff.” because QTNA MAMA?!
So, they take Lucy on her first big gay night out, where Jane gets more action than she does, and things start to get weird between the two of them. Emotions from their decades-long friendship start pouring out, and instead of dealing with the rift in her friendship, she lets those emotions bleed into other areas of her life and makes reckless decisions.
Lucy’s queer journey is the spotlight in the film, but I still love that throughout it, her friendship with Jane doesn’t fade into the background of the plot. Their connection shows how friendships can evolve as the people within them do. We NEED more of these stories, especially in films about lesbians, to help get us out of these outdated ass stereotypes that have been put on us. Queer narratives are vast and diverse, and I know certain stories make more money at the box office but I also wanna see narratives that show the depth and range of our existence.
Now, this movie fucking screams “White LA Gay,” and that’s not a complaint—it is simply a fact. Yes, Kiersey Clemons is part of the cast, and Mizuno is of Japanese/Argentinian descent, but it’s still overwhelmingly white.
I'm not suggesting that Tig, Stephanie, and Lauren should create a queer Black film—that would be absurd. But I am asking for these movies to reflect the diversity of the queer world we live in. That means Black and brown people, and those who aren't just fair-skinned or racially ambiguous. The issue could be that including those characters isn't reflective of the world the filmmakers know, because maybe they only run in predominantly white queer circles. If those are the folks getting (most) of the opportunities to put out queer narratives, that’s kind of a problem but…let’s save that for another piece.
All in all, the movie is cute. It’s funny, the writing is witty, and the performances—especially from Dakota—are really good. It’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster in the “yell at the screen” kinda way and since it’s coming to Max you can have a watch party and do just that!
Am I Ok? is out today on Max, watch the trailer below!
Extras:
I don’t know why but I watched Dakota in How To Be Single a few weeks ago and she is so fucking funny in that. But her best comedic performances are alongside lesbian let-down Ellen and also her Open Door house tour is chaos—please watch it immediately.
MOLLY GORDON IS FUCKING HILARIOUS and if you haven’t seen Theatre Camp—which she wrote and directed—GO FUCKING WATCH IT.
Does everyone in LA have a house instead of an apartment?
A reminder that I’m still giving 50% off subscriptions to celebrate the first anniversary of Hi Shelli! until June 15th!
If you fucked with this piece, you might really dig this one:
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