'Cuckoo' — A Boring Body Horror Undeserving of Hunter Schafer's Talent
But they sure did put that location budget to work!!
This is part of my coverage from the Chicago Critics Film Festival!
I went into Cuckoo completely blind and hella unfamiliar with the director/writer Tilman Singer. I was just excited because I’m ready for the next phase of Hunter Schafer’s career and once this film popped up on my timeline, I knew it would be part of it. Choosing Hunter as its star was a very purposeful choice.
Tilman knew that even if folks didn’t know who he was, they would follow her—and he was right. I didn’t know shit about him or the film and didn’t do a deeper dive of either when I originally saw the trailer, but there my ass was in a seat of a nearly 100-year-old theatre because I knew Hunter Schafer was gonna be on the screen.
Although not a fan of Euphoria past season 1—please just let me be—I know Hunter is a talent. It can be hard to escape the world of teendom films and TV once you’ve spent so much time walking around its under 21 halls, but it can be done. First, Hunter joined the cast of The Hunger Games: The Musical (aka THG: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes) as Tigris Snow, and while still in the realm of teendom, it was her first departure from all things Jules. Now, a year later, she’s taking another leap.
In Tilman Singer’s Cuckoo, Gretchen—played by Hunter—moves to the picturesque-ass German countryside with her dad (who she has a rocky relationship with) and his new family, which includes a stylish yet cold step-mom and a sweet little half-sister Alma who is mute. She doesn’t want to be there and longs to be not just back in America, but back with her mother. She calls home constantly but is always met with a playful voicemail message featuring her mother’s voice. She leaves message after message complaining about the current state of her life and wanting to just come back home.
After several minutes of beautiful imagery and Gretchen being Jordan Catalano levels of teen angsty, we meet Herr König played by Dan Stevens, KING of accents. Dan Stevens has given us everything from an early 20th-century royal heir in Downton Abbey to an oddly straight Russian singer in Eurovision, and now he’s the creepy-as-shit owner (or at least manager) of the vacation grounds where Gretchen and her family now live. Herr König has already put himself in their lives—they are only here because he hired her dad to revamp the guest accommodations—but he further does so by being a little too chummy with both sisters. He offers Gretchen a job at the front desk of the resort to keep her from being bored, and oddly showers Alma with attention, and from that point on shit gets weird, confusing, and high-key boring.
Herr König gives Gretchen the rundown of her new gig, which includes leaving before it’s dark out and always letting her co-worker Trixie (Greta Fernández) lock the place up. But because Gretchen is a caucasian teenager on a rebellious streak…she does the complete opposite of what she is supposed to. In doing so, she encounters what Herr König has been hiding—an incredibly well-dressed monster/woman who attacks Gretchen as she’s biking home. Of course, no one believes her—including her good-for-nothing ass daddy—and everyone else in the town is under König’s thumb. After a few more encounters with the monster and a few choice guests of the resort, we finally (yet barely) get into the Cuckoo plot of it all.
That plot is so trash.
It’s written like this is a sequel—and 1like you went to a school that taught you about cuckoos. Like the audience is coming to it with previous knowledge of what the fuck is going on and—that’s not true Ellen, you didn’t give us that information.
It takes the long way around delivering a message about feminism, bodily autonomy, hating the patriarchy, reproductive rights, and family being family no matter how it’s made. It also takes a page out of the book of Yorgos where it makes something very pretty that happens to be half an hour too long. SHUT UP POOR THINGS DOESN’T COUNT, HE AND I ARE CURRENTLY FRIENDS, AND I’M ALREADY NAPPING TO BE PREPPED FOR KINDS OF KINDNESS.
Sorry for yelling…ANYWAY…
Similar to how I felt about Backspot, Cuckoo needed time to breathe. The characters needed time to develop, the complexities of their relationships time to earn their intensity, and time dedicated for the backstory to be told. This isn’t a story where you can throw a monologue in from the bad guy 45 minutes in and expect the audience to be all, “Omigosh well NOW I get it and am excited!” It’s also not one where putting little show-and-tell moments in from its protagonist makes me connect with her more.
Also like Backspot, it’s a film with a big name attached that wastes their time and talent, in this case, Hunter Schafer.
She sure tried to save this movie but it just wasn’t going to work. Not because she wasn’t good, she was stunning, but the material she was given wasn’t on the same wavelength. It cared more about the grotesqueness and shock of it all and let the story come second. It’s another film that would work much better as a limited series—perhaps not a limited series that I would watch—but a series nonetheless. With a series, you can get gross, blow money on location, get some big names, and still tell an interesting story because you have time.
It was kinda wild just how much Yorgos kept coming up for me as I watched this. it wasn’t until afterward that I realized Hunter was gonna be in Kinds Of Kindness. Now that he and I are on better terms after Poor Things, I’m very excited to see what magic he pulls out of Hunter with a script that I’m betting is worthy of her talent.
But dig this—lol Cuckoo was funny. Hunter shines in dialogue-free moments, taking some of them from serious to playful with her facial expressions and prolonging awkward pauses. And Stevens Herr König is an odd man, but my goodness his laissez-faire nature while being a complete and utter creep is hilarious.
Listen, I too could be lured to the mountains of Germany with the promise of a completely furnished mid-century home, but the minute you tell me I can’t go outside because there is a chance a monstrous season 4 Peggy Olson might try to nab me, I’m hitting the bricks.
Body horror films with a healthy serving of girl power are my favorite horror subgenre. Cuckoo tried to join that category but it missed the mark. Films like Jennifer’s Body, Raw, Ginger Snaps, American Mary, and Swallow are some that excel in the subgenre. But unlike Cuckoo, those films were way clearer in their delivery.
I wasn’t completely bored in Cuckoo but I could have gotten my midnight horror fix somewhere else. Filmmakers have to remember that a strong message only hits hard when the writing is compelling, it shouldn’t rely purely on the actors to carry a tedious story to the credits.
Watch the trailer for Cuckoo below!
Slight Spoilers:
Beware of vomit—there is A LOT of it in this.
There is a tiny cute love story featuring a French Person (Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey) who wears sunglasses at night.
Extras:
This has nothing to do with this movie but can we talk about us getting two Yorgos movies in under 3 years after 5 years with no features?! WHOMST LIT A FIRE UNDER HIS ASS?!
I know I already listed them but I am DEMANDING that you watch the following movies if Body Horror x Brilliant Babes is your thing:
If you have to pick just one to watch—WATCH SWALLOW!!
If you fucked with this piece, you might really dig this one:
Thank you so much for reading Hi Shelli! As always, all reviews are in front of the paywall but if you like what you read I hope you consider becoming a paid subscriber <3
Cuckoos are birds that come in cute clocks, but they have so much time to be in clocks because they don’t take care of their kids. They basically lay eggs in the nests of other animals—and leave. Even animals can be deadbeats—NATURE!